


He Had Never Suspected

by Fenora_Larenura



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-12
Updated: 2015-05-12
Packaged: 2018-04-23 02:39:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4859918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fenora_Larenura/pseuds/Fenora_Larenura
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A small, drabble-ish take on Solas and how he might have struggled with his feelings for Inquisitor Lavellan. Obviously, this contains spoilers for Dragon Age: Inquisition.</p>
            </blockquote>





	He Had Never Suspected

**Author's Note:**

> **Disclaimer – Solas, Lavellan, Dragon Age: Inquisition, and all likenesses belong to Bioware.**
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  **AN:** Hi everyone. So this is my small, drabble-ish take on Solas and how he might have struggled with his feelings for Inquisitor Lavellan. Obviously, this contains spoilers for Dragon Age: Inquisition.

He had never suspected who she would be.

Attending to the mark on her hand, he searched, studied, struggled. How was it possible that she bore a mark such as this? 

He traced the power, knowing its source came from the orb. His orb. She was marked by his newest mistake. Evidence glowing from her palm angered him. It would not matter. She would live, somehow, and knowingly or not, would help him restore what was his. 

Her beauty distracted him from first glance, but vallaslin repulsed, refocused him from her distracting questions. Dalish were no longer worth the effort.

An anomaly. Nothing more, he decided, was the cause of her kindness. 

She disarmed him. It should have been the first sign of misstep. Curiosity and pride kept the accounts flowing from his mouth, while his eyes watched the fascination in hers. She was impressed. With his words alone. Determination was her tell. Her mind sought to wrap around his tales. He entertained another entanglement. And he would dominate more than her attention.

 

He had never suspected what she would do.

He fought beside her, proficiency growing as tears in the Veil were sealed, one by one. She made decisions with intelligence, insight, always rallying to the cause.

She swayed with silver tongue and stoic words, gaining and growing the trust of the others like none other of their kind. Save one. 

With allies of magic, she drew the eyes of all, both friend and foe. Her unknown adversary, his unwelcome accessory. The first test was passed despite destruction and near death. 

Her confidence was in his interest. Her favor would serve his purpose. His guidance would only ensure his plan. The place where the sky is held back. An apt meaning, one they had yet to understand. 

Now to lead and inquire, here she still found time to seek after him, and he indulged. 

Her focus still endured, and despite the caution, words of feeling evoke perception, confession, and for a moment he no longer denies the desires she unknowingly lit within him.

Willing, wanting, she asks for what he did not expect, nor consider. For the first time he wonders if it’s possible. Could his redemption be gained with her at his side?

 

He had never suspected where she would lead.

Complacent. Unconcerned, he follows where she takes them. Somehow unaware of the peace she inspires. 

He doubts. She can’t be this perfect. It’s a lie, he thinks. A trick of the anchor… He needs to know, it haunts him. But she’s certain of herself; just as strong and faithful to the People as before the day they were ill fated to meet. He confesses his growing distraction, his thoughts of her lips. She temps him further. 

He won’t deny it. But still hasn’t decided. “Don’t go,” she whispers, and it breaks his last defense. Finally, he indulges, noting the difference of being awake this time. Certain his heart resides within her. It’s too late to go back. And if he must endure, why should it be alone? 

“Ar lath ma, vhenan.” _My love is yours, my heart._

 

He had never suspected how she could change him.

The delicacy of his plans begins to slip from one hand as his grasp tightens upon her with the other. Everything she does captivates him. Even when he disapproves, when the alternative is less desirable, he can’t turn away from his need. 

But the weight of secrecy presses on him. She has been so patient, and regardless of their discretion, the others have noticed. Why hide it? He didn’t want to. Not after the way others had shown their desire for her at Halamshiral. But what of her reaction? He feared it. And yet, it’s nothing compared to the guilt. He had resolved to give her everything. The truth, the tale, surrendering all and hoping she would accept it, accept him, and still recognize the elf he was now. The one she had made him feel like, forgetting, forsaking everything before her existence.

That was the trouble, though. 

She made him forget. He couldn’t. He was not her equal. Not one of them. Not able to let go of what he had done. His path could not be altered, no matter how he desired it. She couldn’t change that. Not really. He had taken the vallaslin from her, yet she was still marked, because of his existence, his foolishness. Her rare spirit eternally altered and bound, long before she drank from the Vir’abelasan. 

What else would she have given up, if he stayed?

 

He had never suspected that when it was all over, he would be the one marked. Confined, condemned to carry on without. Without her words, her touch, her love.

Without Ellana… Ara tel’dar revas. _I will never be free._


End file.
